Emotional Intelligence
A dedicated program for women on internal regulation, self-accountability, and balancing heart and mind.
Emotions are information, not drama
In a lot of Pakistani homes, emotion showed up in only two shapes: a father's anger and a mother's silence. Being emotional came to mean being dramatic, and feeling things became something to hide or apologise for. This lecture starts from the opposite place. Emotions are real, they are biological, and each one exists to tell you something. Once you can name what you are actually feeling, you stop being pushed around by it, and you start to make sense of the people around you.
Fee: PKR 1,000 for the complete course. Annual student registration is PKR 500 a year. It opens the recorded lecture library and lets you enroll in any course.
Payment: NayaPay to 0321-0911127 (Ayesha Kashif). Full details are on the enrollment page.
None. You do not need any prior study of psychology, counselling or Islamic studies.
Every feeling is an instant plan, built by evolution to help you handle a situation. Anger raises your heart rate and floods you with adrenaline so that you can act. Fear pulls blood away from your core and down into your legs so that you can run. Surprise lifts the eyebrows to take in a wider sweep of what is in front of you. These are biological signals rather than moods, and none of them is a sign that something is wrong with you. You also meet the two minds: the rational one that thinks, structures and ponders, and the emotional one that feels, reacts and drives impulse. Usually they work together. Under stress, the emotional mind hijacks the rational one.
Most of us read our inner life through a blunt lens: fine, angry, sad. Without a real vocabulary, everything arrives in blurry extremes. This part puts a prism in front of it. A student who says she is sad after a debate result may in fact be disappointed and ashamed. A boy left out of a cricket match is not simply angry, he is excluded and lonely. A man whose work was claimed by someone else is not just angry, he is resentful and disrespected. Underneath the surface word there is always a more exact one, and finding it is the whole skill.
Four spectrums, and the words inside each. Under anger: irritated, frustrated, jealous, resentful. Under sadness: melancholy, lonely, grieved. Under fear: anxious, apprehensive, panicked. Under the pleasant feelings: hopeful, zestful, content. You also see why feelings overlap, because you can be anxious and hopeful about the same exam at the same moment, and both are true.
Choosing a precise word for what you feel does something physical. It shifts energy out of the alarm centre of the brain and back into the part that manages and decides. Saying that you are feeling frustrated right now is not a description of the problem. It is the first step of handling it.
Three steps for the moment feeling arrives. Stop: halt the physical impulse, calm down, and refuse to act immediately. Evaluate: name the exact problem and the exact feeling, then think of several different ways to react and map out where each one leads. Act: choose the most rational response and go with it.
When the emotional mind has taken over, you have to settle the body by hand before you can think again. Place a hand, or something soft, on your stomach and give your whole attention to feeling it rise and fall with each deep breath. The deliberate rhythm sends an all clear back to the brain, cools the hijack, and restores access to the rational mind. The lecture closes on why any of this is worth learning: being intelligent was never about grades or IQ. It is having the character to manage your own impulses, read your own inner world, and understand what the people around you are feeling. That is a skill, and it can be learned at any age.
The lecture slides as a PDF, so you can go back to the spectrums and the stoplight steps without replaying the whole recording.
Access to the recording lasts one month from the date you register.
An e-certificate is provided on completion of the lecture.
The recording is shared with registered students only.
A dedicated program for women on internal regulation, self-accountability, and balancing heart and mind.
A framework for working out which part of you is run down: physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.
A two-part workshop on anger: how to stop the explosion in the moment, and how to clear the resentment that stays behind.